Writer Lori Deschene related that Eckhart Tolle believes we create and maintain problems because they give us a sense of identity. Perhaps, Deschene opined, this explains why we often hold onto our pain far beyond its ability to serve us. We tend to replay and even repeat mistakes over and over, causing those old feelings of shame and regret to be born anew, and to shape our actions in the present. We cling to our frailties and anxieties as if that will give us power over them. She offers the simple yet profound suggestion of which Ajahn Chah spoke:
“If you let go a little, you get a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” The following quotes and/or paraphrases Deschene’s ideas.
Ideas for Creative Letting Go of Frustration with Your Life:
- Learn a new skill. Rather than dwell on the ones you have mastered learning something new will help you realize your capacities may be greater and your limitations fewer that you think.
- Change your perception. See each slip or fail as a window into something you can improve.
- Use immediate positive, self-affirming actions to re-balance the negative thoughts and feelings.
- Use a mindful body practice, such as yoga or Ta’i Ch’i to help bring you into the present and build a foundation for future strength and resilience instead of dwelling on the painful past.
- Make a list of accomplishments, even small one. Again, for balance.
The point is, I think, that you should not waste your pain. It can be a useful motivator to continue your efforts to change, to be more aware, or more kind or more truthful or more consistent., and yes, more loving… If you let go.
Tools for Intentional Living - Dr. J. Nickens 