The Panther and the Poetry of Psychotherapy

Because the language of poetry is not linear and is allowed to construct its own rules, it can express feelings and ideas differently from prose.  Because therapy is done sometimes in prose, but other times in poetry, I often read a poem that, while sometimes not of the exact same sentiment, evokes for me a client’s story in a way that the prose of progress notes cannot.  It may reflect the challenge of transition, or the wonder of transformation.  It may carry the soft moisture of love lost or the harder bite of betrayal.  It may scream for justice or whisper for redemption.  It may simply tell of one fleeting state of consciousness, co-existing with others for a moment in time. 

Here is one such  poem.  Thematically, the sentiment expressed in this poem is not an uncommon one.  It is often expressed by people who have made a significant change yet tenderly remember the “other self”, for example by someone who is gaining control of manic symptoms and misses that exhilarating yet debilitating high energy.  But it may also be expressed by those who simply are making a positive and slightly nostalgic change to a more sustainable set of choices– yet mourn the loss of the unsustainable.  In many cases, it can feel as though some part of them has been lost, or has died… or perhaps simply been confined inside a self-imposed constraints where the glimpses of the “other” flash and leap, then fall… and fail.

I recently had a client who, in the process of making a needed and significant change in his life, expressed grief at the loss of what had felt like a “self” that was connected to a wondrous and powerful life energy.  That life had to be relinquished in order to adopt a more sustainable and realistic life style.  He told me that it felt very much like he was a cat, a cheetah or leopard, going back into the benign, socially acceptable cage where, in the end, he said, we all must reside.  He felt it was the right thing to do.  But still, he sometimes mourned the loss…  and his acceptance of this change was optimistic yet tinged with sorrow.  His story brings to mind this poem by Rilke, given to me by someone else who also understood both the optimistic determination and the shadow of sorrow when first we see the lingering loom, then quiet dimming, and quieter death, of a former “self.”

The Panther – by Rainer Maria Rilke
                         (Translated by D.C. Barranco)

From seeing only bars, his seeing is exhausted.
It holds nothing, nothing more.

To him, the world is bars,
100,000 bars, and behind the bars, nothing.

The lithe swinging of his rhythmic, easy stride
circles an inner hub – a dance of energy,
‘round a central point.

Inside, a gigantic Will stands stunned and numb.

Only, at times, the curtains rise.

Silently, a vision enters,
slips though the focused silence of his shoulders,
reaches his heart,
and dies.  

That vision of what once was, or might have been, is what my client, every now and then, needed to share with me, as if to make sure that it had not been just a dream.  But  also to reaffirm his new choices, and reaffirm he did, until new was ordinary and change was no longer fresh or scary or mournful, or even change.  It just was.  

Therapy as poetry, and poetry as therapy keeps his story alive.  The prose, in its own way descriptively accurate, is still in the progress notes, where it belongs.

Panic Attacks! Treat It With Breath Training.

Do you think you’re having Panic Attacks ? (See post dated 3-19-09)  One of the symptoms of Panic Attacks is rapid or shallow breathing.  This experience can be frightening, and may make you feel that you are about to faint, or even that you may be dying.   Slowing your breathing, through intentional practice of specific techniques, is sometimes one highly effective way for you stop the build-up to the attack, and perhaps to reverse the symptoms.   Getting some coaching from a qualified therapist in learning controlled breathing and progressive relaxation techniques will help you to use this technique in the most efficient and effective manner.  In the meantime here are a couple of suggestions.  There are two types of controlled breathing that I have practiced with clients:  Square Breathing and Cloud Breathing.  Both have helped in some cases, are easy to learn, and can be used according to your own preference.  For both, it is important to use your diaphragm to take in and expel the air.  You can practice using your diaphragm by putting a hand on your stomach and making sure that your breathing is making your hand move in and out as your lower abdomen expands and releases.  If your hand isn’t moving then your are breathing from too high in your chest, and not using your diaphragm.  Practice until you are certain your hand moves with each breath.

• Square Breathing:  In this type of controlled breathing, each of the 4 phases of breathing are done for the same time period.  For example, begin by using a 5-second interval.  This means that you will use 5 seconds to inhale, hold that breath for 5 seconds, use 5 seconds to exhale, then leave your lungs empty for 5 seconds, before beginning the sequence again.  The entire cycle of respiration takes 2o seconds, with 5 seconds used for each part.   As you gain comfort and confidence you can increase the duration of the interval (meaning for each phase) by a few seconds at a time till you work up to longer, deeper and slower breathing that is both comfortable and comforting.  Keep your breathing “square.”
• Cloud Breathing:  In this type of controlled breathing you inhale slowly through your nose, taking in a full breath – meaning it that your lungs feel full but not uncomfortably so.   Next exhale, again through your nose, but with more force behind it, as if there were some dust in your nose and you are blowing it out.  Breath in slowly, breath out forcefully, both in and out through your nose.

Use which ever technique feels comfortable and provides the most relief for you.  You can even use both at different times.  Try to do the technique for at least a minute or more.  When you feel comfortable doing the technique you’ve chosen, then as soon as you begin to feel the early symptoms of anxiety, begin your intentional breathing and continue until you feel calmer and the symptoms have begun to subside.  And remember, the earlier in the build-up process you begin, the more effective the technique will be. 

For best results, schedule an appointment with a qualified therapist to learn other techniques, and perhaps to resolve the underlying issues contributing to your anxiety and panic.

Panic Attacks! Afraid you’re having them?

Do you sometimes feel panicky, and afraid that you will “lose it” or be unable to get to safety?   Are the following physical feelings familiar to you?:

• Rapid heart beat – heart feels like it’s pounding.
• Palms feel sweaty.
• Hands and/or feet feeling numb, or they tingle.
• Dizziness, feel like you could pass out.
• Feeling of intense fear.

If you have experienced these sensations and don’t know why, you may be having Panic Attacks, a kind of intense anxiety that happens very suddenly and can feel overwhelming.  Sometimes these attacks seem to have no cause that you can figure out.  Or you may notice that  you most often have attacks in particular situations – like driving on the freeway, or leaving the house when it’s dark outside.

If at least 3 of the following statements are TRUE for you, it is likely that you’re having Panic Attacks:

1. My doctor has told me that my symptoms are not caused by a medical problem.  It’s important to make sure this is true by having a medical check-up.
2. I have been under a lot of stress lately, for either personal or work-related reasons, or both.
3. My anxiety comes suddenly when I don’t expect it.
4. I know what situations to avoid so that I do not have attacks.
5. Sometimes I worry about having attacks, and sometime my worry may even start one.

THE IMPORTANT NEWS:  PANIC ATTACKS ARE NOT PHYSICALLY DANGEROUS – THEY WILL NOT CAUSE OTHER MEDICAL PROBLEMS.

That means that with the appropriate treatment, and by learning some self-care skills, you can overcome Panic Attacks and restore your life to one without bouts of intense overwhelming anxiety.  Some manageable amount of anxiety is normal, and is a part of our every-day living, but the kind of intense anxiety known as Panic Attacks, overwhelming though they feel, can be successfully treated and resolved.   Some successful strategies for reducing and even eliminating symptoms of Panic Attack are: learning breathing techniques; changing your thinking about the attacks; and using progressive exposure to reduce situation-specific anxiety.  I’ll write more about each in future posts.

In the meantime, if you think you’re having Panic Attacks contact a qualified therapist today, and begin the process of finding relief and restoring your confidence.

Job Stress: Survivor’s Guilt

Job loss is an obvious source of intense stress, and we increasingly can see the impact all around us.   What may be less obvious is the stress on employees who are fortunate enough to keep their jobs while co-workers and friends are layed off. 

Sitting and listening to friends who are distraught and scared over the loss of their income and the many other losses associated with job loss can be stressful for the “survivor.”  Feeling of guilt over being better-off may make it difficult to be comfortable around former co-workers.  You may have fears of losing your own job in the next round of lay-offs, but may not feel comfortable expressing those fears since they are not yet real, as they are for someone already facing unemployment. 

It may be that you are one of the managers responsible for giving layoff notices to employees.  In this situation, feelings of sadness, guilt and responsibility can sometimes be overwhelming, and yet once again there may not seem to be a good time or place to express them. 

In both of these situations, the relief of still having a job, that inner voice that says “I’m glad that’s not me.”, can increase the person’s feelings of survivor’s guild, and create alienation from friends and former co-workers.

If you still have your job but are talking with, or relating to friends who have lost theirs, it could be very helpful to seek therapy so talk about your survivor feelings, and your inner fears that perhaps you too will soon face the devastating challenge of job loss.  Don’t wait for problems to develop in your relationships.  Pick up the phone today and make an appointment to discuss your feelings and fears with a qualified psychotherapist.

Seeing at “Face Level”

Engaging in psychotherapy, when it’s effective,  is a life-changing experience.  Usually one thinks of that description as applying to the clients.   What may be surprising to some people who have been or are in therapy is that often the therapist’s own experiences in the office can bring us soft sadness or quiet joy,  and new perspectives on ourselves and the world we live in.  In truth, if we aren’t touched by the stories we hear then we may not really be really listening!   Sometimes, as I later reflect on a session, I am reminded of book passages or poetry I’ve read wherein similar circumstance or feelings to those of the client have been put into different words.   Sometimes I can find the passage and re-read it, to both check my recollection of it’s meaning and context, and to find another way of understanding the client’s own words by seeing that experience through the words of another.  

Not so long ago someone talked to me about a lost love.   A loss he didn’t expect, didn’t understand and couldn’t just forget about as if it had never happened.    He understood that the relationship was over, and had adjusted reasonably well, yet occasionally the memories of tender moments were awakened by the most innocuous of things:  something in a store window, or perhaps just talking to a friend about their lives.  I came home and found the poem that reminded me of his experience.    Perhaps it will remind you, softly even if sadly, of a lost love and how the experience still resides in a corner of your soul.  If so, take heart.  You are not alone in remembering, as Amichai so tenderly yet starkly writes.

Once a Great Love by Yehuda Amichai

 

Once a great love cut my life in two,

The first part goes on twisting

at some other place like a snake cut in two.

                        

The passing years have calmed me

and brought healing to my heart and rest to my eyes,

                      

And I’m like someone standing in

the Judean desert, looking at a sign:

“Sea Level.”

He cannot see the sea, but he knows,

 

Thus I remember your face everywhere

at your “face level.”

 

My client could not “see” and did not still “want” his lost love.  The memories had dimmed, but they had not diminished in meaning.  This is perhaps a good emblem for “moving on”, for living ones life with memories, some fond and fragile, others damp and dusky.  But always facing forward and taking the memories with you rather than standing still, alongside them, in the past.

 

I listen.  And I, too, grow.