Quotes for Intentional Living 7/31/10

Quote for Intentional Living

“I would rather lose in a cause that will some day win, than win in a cause that will some day lose.”

Woodrow Wilson

Use your therapy time more effectively.

Help your therapist to help you.  Do your part to make the therapeutic relationship work by using the time effectively.

Here are a few suggestions that might help:

*  Think about your appointment ahead of time:  Take some time to consider the issues you want to discuss, and the events or experiences that make these issues the ones that you want to spend time on.

*  If you pay by check, prepare your check ahead of time:  Taking time prior to the end of a session uses time that could be used to focus on your therapy.  Taking time to write checks after the session time has ended uses those few moments between sessions that are precious to your therapist, and that allow time to check messages, jot a quick note for your next session and take a needed bathroom break!

*  Stay engaged in the session:  Turn your cell phone off unless you are expecting an emergency or urgent call.  If you take notes of sessions, review them before you arrive.

*  Ask questions about anything you do not understand:  If you all a therapy session to process when there is something you have not understood, you may be allowing a slowly evolving divergence to develop between you and your therapist.

*  Know when to call:  Talk to your therapist about when you should or could call to leave messages, and when it’s best to wait until the next session.  The same goes for e/mail.  There’s no set rules, just what you and your therapist agree to.

To get the most out of your therapy, try these tips, and ask your therapist about what she or he expects of you. 

Quote for Intentional Living 7/24/10

Quote for Intentional Living

“Stimulate the heart to love, and all other virtues will rise of their own accord.”

W. T. Ussery

Meltdown in the Barbie aisle

Be a doll, and help me pick out a gift!

My client told me a story about an argument she had with her partner, a parent of a young girl, about what toys to buy as a surprise for the child.  The girl had previously asked for a doll, and so my client and her partner marched with determination into the toy section of a local big-box story; only to be confronted with what she considered an ultimate insult to her personal brand of feminism: dozens of Barbie dolls.  So they had an argument; about money, about the available selection of toys, and about her partner’s difficulty with making a choice, about everything.  Until, that is, she remembered having had her own Barbie collection, hard-earned with chore money, when she herself was young!

She realized that having had access to unfettered inspiration may have actually helped her to grow into the strong and independent woman she’d become.  She laughed at her own outrage against her very own history.  They left the store smiling and with a couple of dolls in their shopping bags. 

It’s helpful to remember when you were just beginning to learn, to grow and to “become”, so that you might be gentle with those who are now trying to do the same. 

Offer gently guidance, and be patient with mistakes and missteps.   

And try not to hold them or yourself hostage to your own tangled roots.  If the tangle is too much to handle, contact a qualified therapist to help.

Quote for Intentional Living 7/17/10

Quote for Intentional Living

 

“Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.”

               Rainer Maria Rilke

 

Poor Me!

                   POUR ME!

Alcohol addiction, if you are struggling for sobriety,  is a formidable adversary.  Something that will make your battle more difficult is to have an attitude of entitlement.  Yes, you may have experienced some serious losses due to your drinking, and you deserve empathy and warm wishes as you confront your painful and even damaging behavior.  It is not helpful to your recovery however, or to your rebuilding of relationships, if you keep the perspective of having been “deprived” of your rightful privileges and possessions.  In fact, if you have lost people dear to you and possessions you worked hard for, it may be more helpful to accept that you traded them away in return for “that feeling.”  The loss of meaning and positive self-regard, through neglect, distraction and deceit is painful to accept.  Only through acceptance of our own frailty can we hope to re-build a whole and wholesome self.  All else is simply a flight into health; and short-lived at that.

Recovery can be an arduous process if properly done.  Try not to run before you can walk.

If you want to fly, take the time to grow wings.

 

Yes.  You can.

Quote for Intentional Living 7/07/10

Quote for Intentional Living

 

“The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

George Bernard Shaw

Quotes for Intentional Living – 7/03/10

Quote for Intentional Living

 “Independence?  That’s middle class blasphemy.  We are all dependent on one another, every soul of us on earth.”

George Bernard Shaw