C.A.G.E – a short test for alcohol problems.

The Cage Test is a short screening test for alcohol problems.

This test asks questions about the problems associated with excessive use of alcohol.  Two “YES” answers indicate that a more extensive evaluation may be needed to determine the nature and extent of your problems with alcohol.

 

C – Have you ever felt you should cut down on your drinking?

A – Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?

G – Have your ever felt bad or guilty about your drinking?

E – Have you ever had a drink first thing in the morning, and eye opener, to steady your nerves or to get rid of a hangover?

 

If you answered “yes” to two or more of these items, please consider making a decision to empty your glass and fill your life with new purpose.  Contact a substance abuse program or counselor, or a qualified psychotherapist who is skilled in working with substance use concerns.  

Yes, you can.

GAMBLING 1: are you going bust?

 Are you, or someone you know, gambling away the future?

Many people gamble a little and do so with discretion and responsible limits.  But some people do have a problem, and even more are on the edge of developing a problem with limiting and controlling their gambling.

Here are some warning signs:

• Needing to gamble larger and larger amounts to maintain the thrill.

• Blocks of time that are unaccounted for.

• Mood swings based on winning or losing .

• Using retirement funds or life insurance to finance gambling.

Some states, including California, sponsor a specialized Problem Gambling program.  The California version provides free counseling with specially trained therapists. 

Just contact the California Office of Problem Gambling (1-800-426-2537) or in another state contact the State Dept of Mental Health for a referral.

 Get help today, for yourself or for someone else.

You’ve Got Mail!

My client came to his appointment with a letter he’d received.

It was an apology, of sorts, from a former lover.  Of sorts, because after the initial statement saying “Sorry”, the letter moved on to say how much she’d lost from her life since he’d last seen her and how she felt betrayed by former friends.  While he was sad to hear of these things, he’d had nothing to do with those events, having not seen her for a few years prior. 

What he’d lost during his relationship with her was, however, another story.   She had done some terribly hurtful things to him, things that crushed his self-esteem, ended his relationship with a few friends, and diminished his trust in others.  And she’d done them knowingly and intentionally, she’d later admitted.  She’d laughed while she said hateful things, had told him she’d maybe do it all again the same way, and then told lies to mask her own behavior.

Now she was saying “Sorry.”  But “For what?”,  he wondered aloud.  Maybe for having had the relationship at all, but not for what she then did to so deeply and enduringly wound him.   She wished for everyone’s happiness.  He shook his head, perplexed.   “Yes, he hoped she would be happy.”  It was his way after all. 

Him?  He didn’t think it likely anytime soon.

I sat with him as he alternated between downcast silence and pained questions.  He talked and I listened.  Then near the end of the session, I talked while he listened.   Finally we shared a few moments of silence.

The session ended as he remembered why he’d started therapy – to illuminate and amplify the elements of his life that he wanted more of, and to shed the brimming sadness that had become his memories.  He turned again toward this goal, and made another appointment.

And as he left he gently dropped the letter into the small wastebasket.

If you are struggling with an emotional wound that burns beyond it’s time, and are not sure how to extinguish the flame, contact a qualified therapist today, and learn how to light a new and positive fire in your heart, and to rekindle your hope for your future.

Call today! 

 

Happy Independence Day

As we celebrate Independence Day for our country,

take a step toward personal celebration…

and ending your own dependence on alcohol or drugs!

Much is made of the capacity to manage one’s life independently, but so many people find themselves struggling with their dependence on alcohol or drugs and sometimes lose confidence in their own inner strength.   

At its most extreme consequence, alcohol and drug dependence can rob one of friends, family, purpose and promise, until the person ceases to understand or accept the terrible price others may have paid for caring about them and trying to be loving and supportive even when the addiction turned cruel.

If you are questioning your own use of alcohol or drugs, and think that just maybe the people who have suggested it’s a significant problem are right, why not seek a professional opinion?  Call a qualified therapist today, and begin the process of exploring and illuminating your lifestyle choices and their impact on you and on the people in your life. 

Climb out of the depth of your addiction and reclaim your life.  Your therapist and the people who still care about you will believe in you until you can believe in yourself.

YES YOU CAN. 

 

 

 

 

Self-Harm Awareness

March 1st is “Self Injury Awareness Day”…

Awareness is indeed important because it may help those who self-injure to hear the perspective of others who have engaged in self-injurious behavior and now have resolved their inner conflicts and urges so are able to maintain control over these urges.

It’s important for parents and other care-givers to become interested in this secret world so that you can discern when someone close to you may need support and help.  It is surprising and distressing to know that most adolescents who self-injure do so while living, working and going to school in the midst of oblivious friends and adults.

Above all, knowing that someone is engaging in self-injury and remaining silent is NOT being supportive of that person. This is not a condition that should be managed on one’s own.  Staying silent only shows the person that they are not worth your trouble, and that their own secrecy is acceptable. 

Please urge anyone you know who is engaging in self-mutilating behavior to seek professional help, and make a committment to the person to seek help for them if they cannot do it for themselves.  It may be the most loving thing you do for them.

 

Out with the old?

  Every year I see several new clients just before – or after – the New Year holiday. Usually there is a complex mixture of hope and regret in the initial meetings. 

Several years ago a young woman came in for her first session several days after the parties were all over, and revealed her betrayal of her lover by enticing him into a menage a trois then pointedly rejecting only him when things progressed to nakedness.  She’d completed the act with her lover’s friend while taunting her partner, revelling in hurting him.  Later she realized how very hateful it had been and now wanted to talk about her unforgivable behavior. 

Similarly a male client requested an appointment before the New Year’s Eve celebration, wanting help in avoiding the repetition of his indiscrete behavior at an office party the year before.  He had drunkenly danced as if at a night club, seriously damaging his promotional opportunities.

In both cases, the over-use of alcohol had been a prominent feature the loss of judgement.  Both clients wanted to talk about how to change their behavior in these kinds of circumstances so that they could maintain their self-control and be more cognizant of their behavior as well as their impact on others. 

First we needed to do a thorough assessment of each client’s alcohol abuse, and to develop and try some strategies for abstinence (for her) and harm reduction (for him).  Then with each client I began to address the memories, hopes, fears, and intentions that emerged in our many conversations.  More than a year later each client felt more aware of and in control of their impulses.  The young woman even thought she might be ready to apologize to her former lover for her betrayal.

If you or someone you love is in need of support and encouragement to make meaningful personal changes, it could be that a few simple New Year’s resolutions won’t go far enough.  Consider contacting a therapist, and engaging in the process of achieving meaningful and lasting change that could help you to build and maintain relationships in both your personal and your professional life.

And may you have a happier new year, all through the year, in 2011. 

Gambling Problems #4 – Resources for Help

Find help for yourself or a loved one at one of these sources.

 

Problem Gambling can affect anyone.  Addictions, including addiction to gambling, can strike no matter the person’s amount of education, kind of job, or cultural background.  Here are some FREE resources to help you address gambling problems.

• 1-800-GAMBLER

•  The California Office of Problem Gambling at www.problemgambling.ca.gov

• The California Council on Problem Gambling at www.caproblemgambling.org

• The California Lottery HelpLine at 1-888-277-3115 or www.calottery.com/playresponsibly

• Gamblers Anonymous (12 step self-help groups) at www.gamblersanonymous.org 

Don’t let a gambling problem derail your future or the future of someone you care about.  Seek help, and contact a qualified therapist to assist you in discovering and resolving the underlying issues.

 

Gambling Problems #3 – young gamblers

Gambling is an attractive activity for many youth.

The State of California Office of Problem Gambling reports that between 10% and 15% of teenagers may have a gambling problem!  They are growing up in a society where many forms of gambling are legal and where adults around them regularly engage in gambling.  Ironically the State lottery games may be one of the more insidious messages that make gambling common place. 

Forms of gambling that are available to teens include:

• Some internet gambling games

• Private bets on sporting events

• Raffles

• Card and dice games

Parents, other family members and teachers should be aware of the following indicators of possible problem gambling – or others significant problems – developing in the teens around them.

• Unexplained absences from school

• Sudden drop in grades

• Change in personality such as increased impatience or sarcasm

• Possession of unexplained money

• Unusual interest in newspapers or in magazines about sports, fantasy sports or poker

• Inclusion of gambling language in their conversations

• Stealing from the household

Interested adults can help teens avoid gambling problems by helping them to understand the risks and to stong social and critical thinking skills.  Their attitudes about gambling activities should be guided to help them understand and control risk-taking behavior.  And of course adults should set a good example.

You can get more information at 1-800-GAMBLE or 

www.problemgambling.ca.gov

Gambling Problems #2

Low-Risk Gambling requires awareness and discipline.

Low-risk gamblers, people who are able to gamble without it becoming an addictive problem, tend to use gambling mainly as a form of entertainment.  When they win it’s an exciting surprise, and when they lose it’s seen as equivalent to the cost of other fun outings such as movies, dinner or a day at the spa. 

Most importantly, what distinguishes low-risk gamblers from problem gamblers is that they understand that they will lose money if they gamble long enough.

If you want to maintain safety in your gambling behavior, follow these critical guidelines:

• Decide on a loss limit ahead of time and stick to it.

• Never borrow money to gamble.

• Set a time limit on how long you will gamble even if you’re winning.

• Take frequent breaks.

• Balance your gambling outings with other activities.

• Only gamble with money set aside for entertainment and NEVER with money needed for living expenses or targeted savings (such money saved for education, housing, medical care or retirement).

These tips and additional information on problem gambling is available from the State of California Office of Problem Gambling. 

If you or someone close you think you may need help with your gambling behavior, call a qualified therapist to begin exploring ways to curb your addiction.

Call 1-800-GAMBLER for more information about problem gambling.

 

Gambling Problems #1.

Problem Gambling is not something that stays in Vegas!

 The State of California recently launched an intensive training program to assist mental health professionals in gaining the knowledge and skills needed to provide effective treatment to people who gamble excessively and who experience detrimental outcomes. 

Data shows that anyone can develop a problem with gambling.  The National Council on Problem Gambling estimates that one of every five college students who plays poker regularly will develop an addiction!  Gambling addictions have been found among people from all backgrounds and walks-of-life, including high school students as well as blue-collar and white-collar workers.  No occupations are exempt from developing a gambling problem.  There are grocers, electricians, educators and mental health professionals who sometimes gamble to excess. 

 A few warning signs of Problem Gambling include:

• Gambling to forget problems or worries.

• Having blocks of time that are unaccounted for.

• Lying about gambling outings.

• Being angry when asked about mysterious spending.

• Frequent out-of-town trips.

• Taking trips with open-ended returns (to account for possible winning or losing streaks).

• Making bets with money needed for basic life needs such as rent, mortgage or retirement.

 

Some people can engage in low-risk gambling without developing a problem.  Low-risk gamblers are always gambling for fun and never to make money. 

Problem gambling is an addiction, just like alcohol addiction and should be treated by a professional.  The consequences of not addressing a problem with gambling can be severe, and may include the loss of spouses, houses and life savings.

If you think you may have a gambling problem, or if someone close to you thinks so, find out how to develop the self-control you need to break your addictive habit. 

Don’t leave your future to the roll of the dice.  Contact a therapist today.